What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 17:22
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
What are some reasons why some men choose to live alone instead of getting married?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I never cut or harmed myself..
What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
What is after school detention like in your school?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was 9 years of age.
An AIDS orphan, a pastor and his frantic search for the meds that keep her alive - NPR
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I think the readers, may guess!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Was to survive, this bastard.
What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
It was going to be , some day.
So, i spoilt her more .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Why is Roblox so laggy it’s unplayable? My computer is fine and the internet is great.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I couldn’t, believe it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
What are the best examples of reverse psychology?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Why is there so much evil in the world?
What did i know ?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Have you been arrested or investigated?
He knew the spot.
I waited trembling.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My family never makes their pension either.
I have no regrets .
Im still living with it.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She found it foreign!.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
One cannot live in the past .
She wouldn,t have been !
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
She loved him until the end.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I will be 64.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Im dying but, im not bitter.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was seconnd youngest,
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was scared of men, in general
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
But ive been too sick for many years..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
But it wasn’t much.
Put me off passion for life!!
She was in good health!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But, we were locked up after school.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
When she asked me how she looked .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
This is soul school!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Why did i forgive my father ?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
We all went to grammer schools
I said to her
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Would this be the day?
I was very sick at this time too.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
(And it was in our own minds.)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She married twice! .
All the time i was locked up.
We were not on the streets..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As i do to all so called friends.?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He resisted the act ,that day.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
And i lived it daily.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I write beautiful poetry .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Comes on , in middle age.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I don,t even have a pension.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So whats the point in blame.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Ive learnt so much.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My life is so biszare .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Who then, do I blame.?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?